Day 5 - It's our party and we'll cry if we want to.

July 31st

I'm not against the Olympics per se, never have been. I have questioned whether we should be hosting them though. I've asked more than once whether the expense and disruption was worth it when, you know, it's us. The UK. The world already knows who we are.

In most arguments discussions of this type I've had over the last few years the comeback has always seemed to  be based on the intangible privilege that lies in welcoming the world to our doorstep to take part and compete. To invite all of the world's best athletes and be able to watch them -at their best- in our backyard.

It's a lovely thought and I was finally swayed by it. Forget ongoing economic benefits, they rarely emerge. Lets accept that we were offered the honour of having the greatest competitors in the world playing in our parks for a fortnight and be happy with that.

I'll tell you a secret, I'm happy with that right now.

Sadly others seem to be having issues with this.

Listening to 5Live this morning painted a picture of former cheerleaders for this 'honour' starting to find issues with it because we weren't winning pass the parcel at our own 7th birthday party.

People asking why we are 'paying for losers.' Questioning why Cavendish*  not Wiggins was our focus in the road race (which betrays such an ignorance of cycling that I can barely believe it). The idea that we were "too fair" in allowing equal access to 'our' venues to other teams for training. That the Japan Men's Gymnastics team were wrong to appeal last night.

A seemingly endless litany of pissing and moaning from the former cheerleaders now that we aren't meeting the hopes we may have had in terms of the medal table.

I thought this was about the gift we'd been given to welcome the world. To bring all nations together under cover of sport to celebrate human endeavour and achievement. I kind of hope that it still is. I would rather we won Gold in every event but I'll still celebrate the other colours that we get and commiserate rather than condemn those of our athletes who don't "podium" (uurrrgghh).

You can't have it both ways. If all this time your hope was that 2012 was our chance to exploit home advantage then you've missed the point of the Olympics. If you were so concerned about the medal count then we'd have been better off spending all that money on athlete funding and cheering them on in Paris this year.

I was told whenever I raised concern that I should grow up and cheer on the best wherever they came from. Turns out though it's only really a celebration of endurance or speed or strength if it's British endurance or speed or strength. If I want tribalism I only have to wait a few weeks and the football season starts again, (This year is our year for the record).

Seven years I moaned for until right before this party began I turned. Danny Boyle and the parade of nations slapped my petulance out of me and revealed that here is a celebration of humanity.  Of how collectively, in friendly competition we can drive each other onto bigger and better things. It's depressing to find out that a lot of others have made the reverse decision based upon the fact we have no gold yet.

Anyway, on to today's...

Numbers

Women: 13,000m

Men:  29,600m

Total: 42,600m

If we add that to what we have so far then we get 205,200m

I'd hoped for a more exact comparison but we'll have to live with the idea that this is more than enough to swim the entire length of the Suez Canal. That should do for now.

Only two more days of swimming then we'll have some other stuff to count. See you tomorrow.

R

You can follow me on Twitter at @Le_Paien_Roux

*Did you know Cavendish is in the spellchecker? Me neither.

Day 4 - The wrong type of cross country

July 30th

So back to the pool for us where last night Rebecca Adlington managed an amazing Bronze medal in the 400m freestyle. If you're reading Becky, that is my favourite 400m in this count so far. Please get in touch.


There was much excitement today when Radio 5Live said they were going over to the cross country. Finally, some running to measure but alas, not to be. It was the cross country that involves horses which -while massively dangerous and exciting- is as I mentioned before, no use to us here. 


Due to this the most exciting thing to happen today was a discussion of Victorian nightwear (don't ask) and the British Men's Gymnastics team knocking it out of the park. Brilliantly done gentlemen, if you bump into Rebecca tell her I say hi.


So onto today's...


Numbers


Women total: 21,800m


Men total: 13,000m


Total total: 34,800m


Which if I'm honest, I feel a little let down by. I've clearly been spoiled by the distances swam daily so far. Not long ago this would have astounded me. It's still more than enough to cross the channel but There'd been such spectacular numbers being put up it feels just a little like they're not trying so hard anymore.


Then again it could like the first time -when you're both really comfortable with each other- that you and a new paramour don't dress up to the nines. Don't put on your best underwear and perfume or shave and put on your lucky pants.


Perhaps it's just that me and swimming finally have a real thing together.


Anyway...


If we add these to the total so far we get 162,600m.


If you jump into the River Thames at Maidenhead, right by the railway bridge, and swim east (yes, following all the bends), that distance would take you to the NORTH SEA!!!


R


You can follow me on Twitter Here: @Le_Paien_Roux

Day 3 - London buses are useless.

July 29th

Well we're still here at the Aquatic Centre where we will be staying until Friday when the first track and field events take place.


There's no need  to worry that this is going to be dull however as just as I was writing this it turns out that there is going to be a swim off! For the record this will be added to today's total.


Also as I mentioned in my post for Day 2 I was amazed at just how far had been swam in just one day. Looking back a bit of matchbook maths could have given me a rough idea of what to expect but I'm nothing if not continually surprised by the obvious.


I'd been thinking to use the standard British unit of comparative measurement (London Route-master buses) throughout this but this isn't going to be very meaningful it seems. For instance Day 2's 70,200m is roughly equal to 6,251 bumper to bumper, hard to picture unless the traffic gets really bad.


So after a rethink I've got some different things lined up for the other events but for the Swimming it's going to be point to point across open water.


Which is all a long way of getting to the...

Numbers

So today the athletes contributed


Women total: 30,500m


Men total: 27,100m 


Total total: 57,600m


If we add yesterdays figures to this we get 127,800m


Which is enough to get you from Holy Island in N. Wales all the way across the Irish Sea and straight into Dublin. Mine's a Guinness.


R

You can follow me on Twitter Here: @Le_Paien_Roux

Day 2 - Late nights and early finishes.

July 28th

So today's the day that we finally have some metres to measure, six events in the aquatic centre will be giving us our first data.

You'll find that at the bottom, a couple of thoughts first:

Opening Ceremony

£27 million for THAT? 

REALLY?

Have a long list of everything wrong with Frankie Danny Boyle's opening ceremony:

1. J.K. Rowling isn't the world's greatest public orator.

2. Where exactly was The Doctor?

3. Erm...

4. ....that's it. That's all I've got.

Bear in mind that I've not been swept up with love for this event (The torch relay passed right outside my bedroom window and I didn't bother getting up to see it). 

Bear further that I was listening to the opening rather than watching (I've been hitting YouTube fairly hard since last night to get the full picture).

At the risk of Goldilocks turning up to steal our porridge bear also that I despise pageantry in general and choreographed attempts to twist emotion especially and it doesn't change a damn thing.

Danny and his cast of dancing Nurses, adorable moppets, farmyard animals and all the rest got right to me and wrought out just the kind of feelings I think he was aiming for. That was a brilliant display of (some of) what we as a country can be proud of. 

Sure some are complaining about certain aspects being missed out but remember just how much history we have. Boyle had one evening not to sell Britain to the world but to tell the world about Britain and he did it wonderfully.

This wasn't a display of flexing and posing a la Beijing to impress all the world's smaller nations with how virile we are. They know. Many of them have had dealings with us in the past one way or another. This instead was a showing of how we can have a good time not by laughing at ourselves but by getting others to laugh along with us.

Bravo Sir Danny Boyle.

Bravo.

Early Finishes

Do you know how many Gold medals have been won today?

Come on, off the top of your head, no Wiki for you.

It's ten. The very first day after the opening ceremony and ten events are already done and dusted.

Every one of these medals will be the culmination of years of training and a cause of great joy for the new champions so congratulations are in order and utterly merited.

For some of these athletes though such as the new Women's -48kg Olympic Gold Medalist Sarah Menezes it's also the end of her games.

I find it hard to imagine what that must feel like. When most of us are just getting over our hangovers from last night you haven't only started to perform you've also finished. Your 4 years of effort have either been rewarded or left unfulfilled, either way you're now basically on holiday.

I can well imagine Sarah or her male counterpart Arsen Galstyan strapping on their medal tonight and bowling into the Olympic village to strut around and take the adulation, (go for it, you've earned it) but after that?

Do you stay around and make an early start on the mountain of condoms we've provided? Try and sneak in to as many other events as possible to cheer on your countrywomen or perhaps try and get as much London sightseeing done as possible over the next fortnight?

I find it impossible to imagine the mindsets of elite athletes; their determination and drive is so alien to a person like myself that I can't even guess at a common ground that would allow me an inkling of how they must feel in such a situation. I just think it's interesting. All that build up, all that hype and sweat and blood and tears and you're done and dusted before most have even began.

Well I hope they're all satisfied is all. If they were reading this I would hope that even if they didn't get onto a podium today they did manage to be proud of how they performed and satisfied with what they give. Even if their two weeks work is done on the first day without a bit of metal to show for it I hope they ALL know that they are amazing.

Except you know, the cheats. Fuck those guys.

The Numbers

All that aside though, we here are just interested in (a very arbitrary selection of) numbers.

A nice easy start today with only the swimming pool providing us with results.

Six events today producing 4 podiums evenly split between the women and the men and it has given us.....Drumroll please!

Women total: 32,600m

Men total: 37,600m

Total total: 70,200m

HOLY SHIT that's a lot! I'm not sure what I was expecting but that is a huge amount. That's enough to swim the English Channel twice with 6km to spare.

That's from one days worth of short course swimming in the pool. May have to rethink how big the numbers on this get.

Anyway, day 2 is done and dusted. Join us tomorrow when we'll have more action from the pool.

R

You can follow me on Twitter Here: @Le_Paien_Roux

Day 1 - OOOOOHHHH Fireworks!

Dateline July 27th, 20.03 

Or not too long until the opening ceremony kicks off and we all get to find out who will be lighting the flame.


It's been a fun old time off the field since I posted, we've had world class diplomacy from a prospective US president and astonishing fuck ups on the flags front during the opening football matches. If only there was a clever joke that could be made about someone needing to look for a new vocation. 


Hmmm.


There's been endless messes regarding ticketing, transport security and the use of trademarks. A field day for a cynic like me; too easy in fact to go into here.


Now is instead the time to enjoy Frankie Danny Boyle's extravaganza and get ready for tomorrow when we finally have something to measure for this experiment with the start of the swimming.


In about 24 hours we'll have our first numbers up and be on our way.

A quick reminder of the ground rules:

Human power only.

No bikes, horses or boats, no projectiles or ball games. If you run or swim or jump or throw something then we count it and add it all up.

If you don't finish you don't count. 

If you pull up 20 miles into the marathon then you'll have to live with me knowing you're a far finer specimen of human endurance than I will ever be. I won't be counting you though. This is more to do with my wish for discrete measurements than any disrespect for your achievement.


I'll be updating here at about this time every evening as we go on, please feel free to follow me @Le_Paien_Roux and enjoy tonight's show. I'm off to the pub.

How I learned to stop worrying and care about the Olympics.

or

How I learned to start counting and give myself a reason to pay attention to the Olympics.

Dateline July 3rd, 21.40 

or about 12 hours or so from when the nice scientists at CERN apparently change our understanding of the universe for all time.


This is a lot less important than that.


A friend of mine, (who takes all the blame) has been on at me for a while to blog and twitter and do all those things that we apparently do these days. I was all up for this. I love the sound of my own voice more than is really healthy but had nothing beyond 'What I drank today' as an idea.


Sunday night, watching Spain take Italy apart with that boring 'anti-football' of theirs one of us -I hope it was me- had an epiphany. The Olympics is all about numbers; faster, higher and stronger are all things measured with digits; I also love spreadsheets (I had a strange adolescence). Putting these together led to me scribbling a barely legible note to myself to 'COUNTT THE METERS!!! (sic)' and placing this where I would find it the next morning - next to the kettle since you ask.


So here I am, counting the metres. How far exactly?


Probably more than any other sporting event the Olympics is measured within an inch of it's life. People train with every bit of themselves for 4 years to be separated from each other by eye-blinks. Dedication beyond what most of us could comprehend goes into hoping to be half an inch ahead of some other guy who has tried just as hard.


As Al Pacino has taught us, life is all about those inches.


He also tells us to add them all up so that's what we're here to do, using metric rather than imperial. Metres and centimetres rather than feet and inches.

Couple of ground rules:

Human power only.

No bikes, horses or boats, no projectiles or ball games. If you run or swim or jump or throw something then we count it and add it all up.

If you don't finish you don't count. 

If you pull up 20 miles into the marathon then you'll have to live with me knowing you're a far finer specimen of human endurance than I will ever be. I won't be counting you though. This is more to do with my wish for discrete measurements than any disrespect for your achievement.


So far I'm making a spreadsheet and checking it twice. I'm going to find out exactly how many different events the games comprises and then I'm going to count all the metres and centimetres (m and cm from this point on). I'm sure we'll learn something from this; it may even be something interesting but don't count on it.


Three weeks to go - ish, feel free to comment, give advice or just generally abuse me once I figure out how this software works enough to post my e mail and twitter.


R